What does "Meet Yourself Where You're At" look like in practice?
When I was pushing myself and burning out, so many people told me: “meet yourself where you’re at.”
My reaction was always “what the f%*k does that mean? I’m right here!”
This phrase popped up again in one of my recent therapy sessions. I finally asked “ I need you to break this down for me - what does that mean? Like, what does it look like in every day life?”
I wish I had asked years ago. Oh well, here I am today after 36 years of life - always learning!
Her example was so useful. I’ve been using it for weeks now and it is literally giving me life.
The practice:
The example she offered was to:
Check-in and ‘rank’ my energy levels, and then
(the hard part) actually operate at that energy level. If you’ve ever been called ambitious, an over achiever, type A, or you’re a child of immigrants: this is permission to not serve 100% perfection every day.
An easy example:
I’ve slept well, exercised, and now feeling motivated - I’m probably close to 100%. So then yes, go for it! Bump up the music and work away - meetings, phone calls, writing - this is the day to get tons of sh*t done.
Now the hard example:
I didn’t sleep well, the day before was stressful, and I’ve been anxiety-procrastinating on the tasks slotted for today. I’m feeling like my energy is probably down at 65%. The key now is to acknowledge and act like you are at 65%.
This could look like this: tasks that might normally take you 30 minutes, might take 90. You might re-arrange your day to build in time for extra stretch breaks or get some fresh air (or actually eat lunch away from your desk). You could try some authenticity - let colleagues and clients know that your energy is a bit low today.
Acknowledging Systemic Privilege and Oppression
I want to take a moment here to acknowledge my privilege and that the ability to do this will vary in proportion to privilege. I do believe at least acknowledging our energy levels with ourselves, is accessible to all. There are many different ways to integrate this. Systemic and cultural factors do affect how much each of us can act on this. If you are in a position to shift systems and culture, think about how you might be able to change this power dynamic in your organization, community, or social groups.
The outcome
My theory is that when we act like we’re at 100%, but we’re realistically at 65%, that’s when we burn out. I put on a smiling face, but I’m dying inside. I drink coffee non-stop so I can be more ‘productive’ in the short term but I’d actually create better work if I could get a real mental break. The worst part is the internal voice that is criticizing me for not being at 100%. Day in and day out, for years.
Acknowledging and acting like we’re at 65% is the mental break we can always access. Matching my energy level lets me relax while still doing work. If I can trust that I’ve adjusted my day appropriately, then I can stop beating myself up for never doing enough. That in and of itself lets me regenerate and have improved energy the next day. It lets me sustain myself. After weeks of doing this, I feel like I’m having more 100% days then I have in years!
This #sustainablehustle is really about redefining the word ‘strive.’ Striving no longer means giving 100%, every day. It now means I give all the energy I actually have to give, instead of stealing from my future energy levels.